what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
