I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
