so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
