I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
