she was so not down for the gang bang
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize