I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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