And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
two words...techno handjob
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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