Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
