"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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