i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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