I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize