I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
