I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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