In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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