do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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