What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
