cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
