Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
