i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
