i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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