do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
