my soul wont recognize me after tonight
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
operation harelip BJ is a go
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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