Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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