would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
