We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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