Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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