I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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