The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize