Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize