so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
