The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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