Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
