I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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