i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
