Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

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(309): View more from Illinois

Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

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(361): View more from Texas

Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices

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(204): View more from Manitoba

My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..

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