who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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