He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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