Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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