From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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