i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize