so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
