he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
