...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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