she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
this is an emotional support booty call
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
