How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
