got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
