ugly people sure do ruin things
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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