its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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