I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
