random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
