It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
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It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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