It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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