i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize