Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
