She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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