Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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