Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
