I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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