But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
