Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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