How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
