don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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