not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
