then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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