Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
