cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
