I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
