if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
