i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
